Greyhound Bus Ride : The Finale

June 25, 2013

Sorry it’s taken so long for me to follow up on my Greyhound bus trip, but…..I’m having to force myself to write this post.

To update my story from last week, I survived my Greyhound bus adventure. An adventure that let me down.

Here’s a short refresher: My wife and kids were out in Oklahoma. That’s 800 long miles on the road with two kids and a weeny dog to return back home in Atlanta, Ga.

Lindsay anticipated a mental meltdown at the half way point in Memphis.

So, being the perfect husband that I am, I came up with a brilliant, cost effective idea that would save my wife’s sanity by taking a bus to meet her in Memphis and drive family back home safe and sound.

One Greyhound bus ticket- 19.95 plus tax. Wow, what a deal!

Before taking my rescue adventure I did plenty of research on bus trips. I needed to know how clean, safe, dangerous and on time the bus would be. Can I carry my concealed Glock? What I discovered is that few of the answers were positive. No guns allowed! Period. Not what I wanted to hear.

Many of the complaints I read about ranged from unsafe to just plain disgusting to ride. I’d been away from my family for 3 long weeks, just how bad could a seven hour bus ride really be?

The trip begins- I got up bright and early Sunday morning anticipating the very worse. My son drove me the six miles to the downtown Greyhound terminal on Forsyth St, an area of town you DO NOT want to visit alone at night. It’s conveniently located a block from the City Jail and easy access to those in need of a ride out of town, so to speak.

We arrived at the terminal at about 7:00am. As we drove up we first notice a dozen or so people just sorta loitering around the street and sidewalk area. Kinda like what you would see in front of a liquor store before opening time. No biggie, it’s a bus station. Pretty much what I expected. My son asks me if I really want to do this. I answer yes. He lets me out in front and tells me he’ll see me later. The tone of his voice suggested otherwise.

I crossed the street, my E-Ticket tightly in hand, and make my way through the crowd gathered on the sidewalk blocking the entrance. My first sense was that of protecting my wallet and my cell phone. iPhone snatch thieves are popular in Atlanta.

I make my way into this very old, third world looking place that seemed loosely familiar. Familiar because the last time I remember being here was back around 1958 or ’59. Not sure where we were heading, but being an Army brat who the hell knows. I remember the station being much larger, but very familiar. Probably hasn’t changed much at all.

While standing around waiting for my bus to arrive I hear a commotion outside, out front of the terminal. I’m an hour early with absolutely nothing to do with my time so of course I have nothing better to do than to go investigate.

Across the street there is a bar, The Magic something. It’s one of those sleazy joints you’d find a cheap hooker hanging around. Or in this case, a screaming cross dresser about to be tased by one of Atlanta’s finest. This creep is yelling and screaming obscenities at the officer but calms down when the cop pulls a taser and takes aim on his/her bare torso. When the creep realizes there’s a big red dot shining on his gut he quiets down. The crowd of course was hoping for a good old fashioned ass whipping courtesy of the cop but not today. The cop stands down as other officers arrive to assist. So much for my entertainment.

Time comes to board the bus and I am looking for the security people that are supposed to be checking us for restricted items, i.e guns knives etc. Nothing. Not one single second glance except to verify a valid boarding pass. The driver didn’t even check my ID against the ticket as the instructions stated. I was pissed to say the least. Here I am boarding a bus with several shady characters and I could have carried my gun concealed and not one person would have checked me. Now I’m wondering just how many of these regular riders are armed.

In a nutshell…

Two hours into the trip we made a non scheduled stop at a Walgreens store somewhere in Alabama just to let one old guy off.

I started out with an isle seat, sitting next to a guy with a backpack. No big deal except he kept a death grip on it until we arrived in Birmingham where we stopped for a 20 minute break. That’s when I moved my ass to the back of the bus and caught a window seat.

From Birmingham it was hard keeping my eyes open. Nodded off enough times to make the trip faster. It was the most boring and uneventful 8 hours of my life.

I learned that anyone with a boarding pass can ride on Greyhound. Security is non existent. I also learned when my bus made those nonscheduled stops, anyone could have boarded while the driver was off the bus doing his business inside the store. Not once was anyone asked for a ticket to get back on the bus during a stop. I had an E-Ticket which meant that I had no stub to prove that I was supposed to be on that bus. They kept it when I boarded. Again- They never asked for my ID upon boarding which meant that I could have stolen my ticket. Not the safest way to travel.

To make a very long story short, because what I thought would make a good blog has actually disappointing me. Aside from the unscheduled stops there was absolutely nothing interesting enough to waste time writing about. Perhaps an actual “writer” could have found something about my journey that would catch your interest. Sorry, not gonna happen here tonight.

The trip was long and boring. Would I do it again? Lets just say I wouldn’t rule it out for a short distance trip. Anything over seven hours just ain’t gonna happen. Plus I know now that regardless of their bogus restrictions on carrying weapons, I would not travel that way again unharmed. -JRoycroft

Here are some pics from my trip.